The Journey Begins...Today...Probably

I dont know why today is so important for me, but today is the day. 

I wake up today feeling its time for a change, time for something better, time for my dreams to become reality. What are my dreams you ask? Well, like anyone I have many health, wealth and happiness...and all the stuff in between. 

I have been writing something or another since I was 6 or 7. My mother can tell you stories about the time I busted in on her in the shower to sing a song I wrote to her, or the many poems and plays I recited for her. I feel that writing is just something that is as big of a part of me as breathing, or eating. Sometimes we have our differences, but writing has always served as an outlet for me. 

I have been doing National Novel Writing month for a few years now. For those of you who don't know what that is, which I realize is the vast majority; and don't fret...I was once out of the loop as well. National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short (even shorter for those of us battling it out Nano) is 30 days of literary abandon. An excursion into the madness that can be a writers mind. As the name suggests, we challenge ourselves as writers  to write a novel...in a month...Or at least 50,000 words of one. 

Sound impossible you say? It is a challenge and thats what makes it such an amazing event. They have also branched out to create summer challenges as well known as Camp NaNoWriMo. Do we really write around a campfire and share ghost stories? No. BUT we do engage in our own goals, and challenge ourselves to be better as writers. Reaching that coveted 50k looks like a big challenge, but its really only 1667 words per day...I think most of us type more than that on our Facey Spaces and Twitter plus updates. 

So why Is all of this important? Why is today so special? What is the reason for this long blog post? I will tell you. Today is the day I begin my publishing journey...again. Yes I have been down this road, queries, manuscripts, 50 pages, refusal letters, the works...I learned a lot from my first foray into the publishing world, but I also lost my bravery. Today Im takin it back! First step...Well my April and July Camp Nano novels are, for lack of a better phrase, a hot mess.  These novels are rougher than rough drafts and have more squiggly lines than a 2 year olds art project. BUT, they are diamonds in the rough drafts. I have already written two novels in the series during Camp Nano, and I am certain I have material for at least 8 if not more. 

Aside from reading, rereading...and rereading again. I will be stripping it to the bare bones of the plot, rearranging its ups and downs, getting the flow of it just right. There will be beta reading, networking, editor sessions, tears, heartache...and yes probably some late night binge eating while staring at the computer screen thinking, "What the hell was I trying to write here?" . In the midst of all this, I will also attempt to write that perfect, agent catching query letter. That elusive beast that has more restrictions than liberties. 250 words to grab the eye of the literary world. I am ready for this journey...More than that. Im ready to see my name on the cover of my first published novel. Hard bound and beautiful! 

Music...Muse...Mood

Music has got to be the most beautiful thing to me. I listen to something anything really and the song takes up residence in my memory, and from there my imagination takes it to new places. It can make you cry, It can make you sing, It can make you scream, or it can make you dance. Music has powers like nothing else. When I write and words just flow from me music is there. When the tears finally break through my barriers, music is usually the cause. I love all music too. Anything with a beat. Anything with a message, or a heart-wrenching solo. It can be instrumental, hardcore or soft.

Music, with its mathematical beats and rhythms has been linked to better brain function in children. It opens us up to so much. Music can hold on to memories in your mind years after you have forgotten them. Cultures as old as time have used music in this way. In the early years it was said that when the Greeks created the "C" note it was revered as a blessing from the gods. Only great kings and queens were allowed to partake of its beauty. It was said to cleanse the mind. More notes were created, and songs were created. Voices rose up with the chords, and the joy could not be contained. Man was meant to have music.

Ranting...

Been a minute since I posted something here. I started working, and life just got away from me. I enjoy my job, I really do. But I miss my life. I have been a stay at home mom for such a long time, this is such a big change for me, and my family. It seems like chaos reigns supreme around here. My 11 year old is having some separation anxieties as its summer and she doesn't have school to occupy her mind. I miss being there for her. It also plays hell on my sanity. I realize slowly that I so am not the super mom I thought I was. The dishes seem to linger in the sink longer, the laundry piles seem to get higher, and the baskets take longer to be put away. Everything slips I feel like my web is unraveling and eventually my world will fall apart.


I miss being creative, sitting down and being able to just make something from nothing. I miss writing, while I have been editing a book, the process feels more stressful than before. My characters are grumpy, and my stress begins to affect how they interact with one another. Not to mention, I am so stalled on this one. THe book is complete, in that it has a beginning and an end, however it is short, and not fleshy enough for me. I am also changing tense and POV. Its a very big job, and there is a step that needs to be taken a bridge to a gap that i cant seem to build. My characters are angry with one another, for no reason. Its a very fragile beginning to their "relationship" that I fear any misstep will cause this story to fall.


Most of all, I miss my freedom. I know that I sound quite spoiled, even to myself. I am always seeking a way to make it without being tethered to a job. In this I feel like i have given in too easily. I have let my fear of failure affect my choices. Hell, I have let past unsuccessful ventures shape my future. I see what I have done, I see that I am the one who has put me here. My mind screams at me as I sit all day, at a desk, its inactivity stagnating any creativity I thought I had. I am stifled, like a flame with no oxygen. I am part of the flock, traded my black coat in for a white one, waiting for the day the man comes to take my pristine coat. BAAHAHAHAHA!

I do many things well...

Its very true. I love many things, and I do many of them well.  But if wishes were fishes, we'd all have a mansion on the hill overlooking the ocean! Our back yard would be an oasis and we could walk around barefoot in big fluffy robes while servants bring us champagne by the pool...Ahhhhhhhh. As this is reality, that is not the case. I some times consider myself a jack of all crafts...as I have to try everything at least once. My craftiness has led to one rather awesome marketable idea, however being a busy mom with more on her plate than she can stomach...the business is the first thing to get put on the back burner. 
I aslo write. I have about 4 books done and umpty bagillion in the works. I participate in national novel writing month every year, and really love writing...as evidence by this blog...and its existence...and all that jazz...Now am I very good at it?? Well that remains to be seen. I have attempted to get one of those published and I ended up shattered on the publication floor so to speak. You have got to have some hard skin to go through that.  I also love to write poetry...which if I had the drive I could turn into song...and be a songwriter! Right...thats gonna happen. I am not mathematical enough to create music...or patient...lets face it! 
So writing blogs and articles to free publications is where I am now. I love to do it, and happily will, as there is plenty of wit and humor in this brain of mine to go around. Now i just have to hope my brand of humor is acceptable in the mainstream...Sometimes I think I may just be too...Odd...for the real world to actually get me, but maybe, just maybe this brand of crazy is just what the world is looking for. I am a smart woman...I'm sure I can figure out how to make a little cheese from my sarcasm.

A short introduction to the characters in this story...

SO meet Becki, me! Mother, nanny, chauffeur, maid, writer, artist, doer, thinker, creator of recycled goodies, hobby queen and all around busy lady! I'd like to tell you I do it all with minimal stress and zero meltdowns, but I cant. I am not a super mom and I am far from perfect, as evidence by my awful grammar!  My daughter Rhylee, a tween with a tude and some serious hormones to boot. A softball playin, violin learning, 5th grader who is suddenly realizing school is hard work. Tyson my geek lover, and husband who still owns original pogs people, I'm serious! And can beat any Final fantasy game in record time...yes including the side quests...I stopped playing after ff7!

In our nest we also have 3 adoring and lovable, but messy and self absorbed cats:

Tiger, Affectionately known as El Tigre the Mexican wrestler kitty, is out prowling the streets most of the day, He's my lynx point Siamese lover, and possibly a reincarnated tooth fairy due to his love of waking me up with a little tooth brushing in the mornings.

China, the princess of the house a lilac point Siamese beauty with a white diamond on her head will be my husbands alarm clock, and make sure shes center of attention if you are not already loving her. She loves snuggling on fluffy blankets and playing in the bathroom sink!  And she takes offense to you being on your cell phone in her presence! 

Pretty kitty, my old lady cat...Also a Siamese lilac point hides away until all the kids are taking a nap or at school...shes the most antisocial, anti- other cat, cat i have ever known. She is not selective she hates everyone equally. She loves your chicken burrito, so be careful...ninja kitty stealz your foodz!! 

Welcome!

I've decided that I needed to start a blog that may just encompass everything about life. The trials and tribulations, the pitfalls and possibilities. And the epic, sometimes funny situations life can throw at us. Like when you catch the cat doing something like, dancing to dubstep...or your tweenaged daughter dancing to LMFAO and you know how wrong it is but you cant help but laugh. Stuff like that...Its better to roll on the floor laughing my ace off, than sit on the floor licking frosting like a diabetic off her insulin...Or...more appropriate, and probably tasteful...a drowning man to water. But I digress.

More to come...